THEIST: "I just want you to know Jesus loves you."
ATHEIST: "Actually, you realize Jesus is a direct ripoff of Dionysus and many other mythological characters from earlier cultures, complete with virgin births (divine father / human mother), execution and resurrection on the third day, a 2nd coming prophecy, and miracles like turning water into wine. There's no hard, historical proof that he ever existed, and if there was in fact a Jesus of Nazareth, he lived and died an ordinary human."
THEIST: (uncomfortable pause) "Uh. Um. Jesus still loves you."